In the world of
romance , one single rule
applies : Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get
points .
Do something she dislikes and points are
subtracted .
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects .
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a
guide to the
points system :
SIMPLE
DUTIES
You make the bed ....................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the
decorative
pillows .... 0
You throw the
bedspread over
rumpled
sheets ...................-1
You leave the toilet seat up.............-5
You replace the
toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
When the toilet paper roll is
barren , you resort to
Kleenex...-1
When the
Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
You go out to buy her
extra-light panty liners with
wings .....+5
in the snow...............+8
but return with beer..........-5
and no
liners....................-25
You
check out a
suspicious noise at night....... 0
You
check out a
suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
You
check out a
suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You
pummel it with a
six iron ...........+10
It's her cat.........................-40
AT A PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party...... 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
drinking buddy ...-2
Named Tiffany.............-4
Tiffany is a dancer...........-6
With
breast implants ..............-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner................ 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a
sports bar ....+1
Okay, it is a
sports bar ..........-2
And it's
all-you-can-eat night....-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team......-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a
pal .........................+5
The pal is happily married............+4
Or
frighteningly single...............-7
And he drives a
Ferrari ...............-10
With a
personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie...............+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate......+6
You take her to a movie you like......-2
It's called Death Cop 3...............-3
Which
features
Cyborgs that eat humans...-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about
orphans.....-15
YOUR
PHYSIQUE
You develop a
noticeable
pot belly.............-15
You develop a
noticeable
pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...............................+10
You develop a
noticeable
pot belly and
resort to
loose jeans and
baggy
Hawaiian shirts.......-30
You say, “It doesn't matter, you have one too.”......-800
THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)
She asks, “Do I look fat?”
You
hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, “Where?”............-35
Any other response.............-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen,
displaying a
concerned expression...... 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes....................+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..................................+100
She
realizes this is because you have fallen asleep....-200
__________________________________________________
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