What men really mean when they say…
“Will you marry me?” Really means...
“Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more
peanut butter.”
“Go ask your mother.” Really means...
“I am
incapable of making a decision.”
“I do help around the house.” Really means…
“I once put a dirty towel in the
laundry basket.”
“Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing.” Really means...
“And I sure hope I think of some
pretty soon.”
“I can't find it.” Really means...
“It didn't fall into my
outstretched hands, so I'm completely
clueless.”
“What did I do this time?” Really means...
“What did you
catch me at?”
“She's one of those
rabid
feminists.” Really means...
“She
refused to make my coffee.”
“I heard you.” Really means...
“I haven't the
foggiest
clue what you just said, and I am hoping
desperately that I can
fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days
yelling at me.”
“You know I could never love anyone else.” Really means...
“I am
used to the way you
yell at me, and
realize it could be worse.”
“You look
terrific.” Really means...
“
Oh, goodness, please don't try on one more
outfit. I'm
starving.”
“I brought you a present.” Really means…
“It was free
ice scraper night at the
ball game.”
“I missed you.” Really means...
“I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are
out of toilet paper.”
“I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are.” Really means...
“No one will ever see us alive again.”
“We share the housework.” Really means...
“I make the messes, she cleans them up.”
“Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful.” Really means...
“
Oh, man , what have you done to yourself?”
“
It sure snowed last night.” Really means...
“I
suppose you're going to
nag me about
shoveling the walk now.”
“I don't need to read the instructions.” Really means...
“I am
perfectly
capable of
screwing it up without
printed help.”
“I'll take you to a
fancy restaurant.” Really means...
“This time we won't use the
drive-thru window.”
__________________________________________________
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