Translations of what men say.
“I don't care what color you paint the kitchen.” Really means...
“As long as it's not blue, green,
pink, red, yellow,
lavender, gray,
mauve, black,
turquoise or any other color
besides white.”
“It's a guy thing.” Really means...
“There is no
rational thought
pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical.”
“Can I help with dinner?” Really means...
“Why isn't it already on the table?”
“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.” Really mean...
Absolutely nothing. It's a
conditioned response like
Pavlov's dog
drooling.
“Good idea.” Really means...
“It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day
gloating.”
“Have you lost weight?” Really means...
“I've just spent our last $30 on a
cordless
drill.”
“My wife doesn't understand me.” Really means...
“She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them.”
“It would take too long to explain.” Really means...
“I have
no idea how it works.”
“I'm getting more exercise lately.” Really means...
“The
batteries in the
remote are
dead.”
“I got a lot done.” Really means...
“I found '
Waldo ' in almost every picture.”
“We're going to be late.” Really means...
“Now I have a
legitimate excuse to drive like a
maniac.”
“You cook just like my mother used to.” Really means...
“She used the
smoke detector as a
meal timer, too.”
“Take a
break, honey, you're working too hard.” Really means...
“I can't hear the game over the
vacuum cleaner.”
“That's interesting, dear.” Really means...
“Are you still talking?”
“Honey, we don't need
material things to
prove our love.” Really means...
“I forgot our
anniversary again.”
“You
expect too much of me.” Really means...
“You want me to stay awake.”
“It's a really good movie.” Really means...
“It's got guns, knives, fast cars…”
“That's women's work.” Really means...
“It's difficult, dirty, and
thankless.”
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